It was a dismal night.
The day had been a long one, and I was finally heading home. The sun had slipped below the horizon and darkness had settled in, along with a heavy blanket of fog. I was traveling on a route that I knew like the back of my hand. However, I could barely see a few feet beyond the front bumper of my car. Without warning, my heart started to pound and I felt panic setting in. I had lost sight of any landmarks or road signs and had absolutely no idea where I was. It was as if I was moving in a bubble made of white cotton candy … and my sense of direction vanished.
Inching along, I tried to keep close to what I felt was the right hand side of the road. It’s terrifying in these situations when a driver realizes that they are at the mercy of the oncoming traffic to stay on their side of the road as well. In a jumble of rational and irrational thoughts, I realized that if I just kept going … bit by bit … eventually I’d see something that would give me direction. Yes … something that would just give me a hint of an idea of where I was and where I was heading. Just something familiar would be so comforting.
Sound like your life right now? Maybe not. But it sure sounds like mine … many times over.
When the dense clouds of pain, confusion, loss, fear, doubt or loneliness envelope us, and we can’t see to take the next step … there’s a prayer that was written for us thousands of years ago by an overwhelmed shepherd. “From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalm 61:2
Yes … when the fog is that dense … where we can’t see to take the next step … we need to be led to the Father. Our circumstances are so painful that we can’t see His Face. The confusion is so thick that His Presence seems miles away.
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[At this point in my writing I decided to finish it another day. I left it and went to bed. A few weeks later, our sweet Anna was taken Home to be with her Heavenly Father.]
Dense fog … confusion … pain … loss … fear … have all been churning in my head. My heart cries out “lead me to the rock”… while at times my head screams for answers. As I struggle to see the white lines at the side of this road that I’m on, I know without a doubt that my loving Father is traveling with me, with His hand on the wheel. And I rest.
Because He is higher than I.
He sees it all.
He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End.
My sweet friend … call out to Him. Allow yourself to be led to the Rock. And then rest….
“Dear Heavenly Father … You know my pain. You understand pain … infinitely. In the dense fog, You faithfully reach out and take my hand … and lead me to Yourself. Then… together, we take the next step. Thank You for being my Rock when my heart feels shattered into tiny rubble. I will rest in You. In Your Beautiful and Precious Name …. Amen.”