
We all have fears.
For some of us, it’s flying. For others, it’s roller coasters. However, for most mommas, it’s the fear of losing a child in a mall or other public venue.
That was me. I was terrified of losing one of our little ones. I shopped with one eye on the clothes rack and one eye on the kids.
I had frequent discussions with the children about staying close by and not wandering off. If necessary, I would stoop to doing what parents are told not to do … telling them that if I lost them, I may never see them again. Don’t worry… I hugged them after I said it …
Almost every time I would end our little chat with these firm but loving words, “If you can’t find me, stand where you are. I’ll come for you.”
I just love to sew. There’s something so therapeutic for me about taking a piece of fabric and turning it into something useful and beautiful. Sewing has been my hobby since I was a young girl. My love for it didn’t cease when I had children. In fact, I think the love for it increased as the need for therapy increased!
One day, I was enjoying myself in JoAnn Fabrics in the mall, while the children either looked at pattern books or waited patiently. I was so close to them … keeping one eye on them and one on the fabrics. All of a sudden, I couldn’t see our eldest, Daniel. I looked around in the aisles of fabric bolts and couldn’t see him anywhere. As my heart started to pound, I grabbed the other children and the stroller and rushed quickly out of the store, calling his name. As I hurried down the mall, I asked people that I met if they had seen a little boy, describing him to them, but to no avail. Rapidly becoming frantic, I suddenly had a thought. I remembered that we had gone to see the riding lawnmowers in one of the stores on our way in. He loved those lawnmowers! I raced to the lawnmower area as fast as I could with the other little ones…
And there he stood.
Just standing. Waiting.
“If you can’t find me, just stand where you are. I’ll come for you.”
I hugged him tighter than I should have, finally allowing him to breathe.
Have you ever been in that place where you just can’t see God? Surrounded by the haze of disbelief, confusion and heart-wrenching pain, you just can’t even see a faint image of His face. He had been right there next to you, walking with you. Where are You, Lord? The heart starts to pound faster as disorientation sets in, with having lost your sense of balance… Your world seems to be tipping on its axis, bringing everything tangible crashing to the floor.
Many years ago, as the disciples walked out each day with Jesus, they noticed that He was often dropping hints about leaving them. Leaving us? Wait, what? Peter asked Him, “Lord, where are you going?” I’m sure that they didn’t like His answer.
Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.” I can only imagine the lines of anxiety and stress on their faces when they heard these words.
Jesus responded, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God ; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. “
Yes. This was the promise of Jesus. “I will come back and take you to be with me…”
Wherever you are, whatever you’re going through, when you can’t see Him in the pain, when nothing makes sense, when your entire world is off kilter, when there’s a palpable ache in your heart that takes your breath away … He says to you… “I will come back and take you to be with me…”
At the end of the Book in Revelation, as the curtain is about to be drawn on the written story of God, John records the words of Jesus, “Yes, I am coming soon.”
Thank You, Lord. The response? “Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.”
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Although I would typically end this story right here, I want to share with you a piece of my heart. Sometimes the treasures of the heart are too precious… too delicate to share. It’s taken me awhile to be able share this with you.
One year ago today, our sweet daughter, Anna, was carried Home to be with her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. She loved Him so much. She had surrendered her life to Him at a young age, and had chosen to follow Him with all her heart.
Words cannot describe the pain that we went through, watching her fight her battle with cancer so valiantly, bravely and with dignity and strength. Some days were harder than others, as we helplessly watched her endure countless treatments, tests and side effects. One day, in our living room, as I was folding laundry, I was struggling with feelings of pain, anger, fear, depression and confusion. For whatever reason, I decided to turn the TV on … and one of the grandchildren (I figured!) had turned it from TV to radio. I instantly heard the song being sung to me, by Cece Winans….
“Sometimes I fall to my knees and pray
Come Jesus come
Let today be the day
Sometimes I feel like I’m gonna break
But I’m holding on
To a hope that won’t fade
Come Jesus come
We’ve been waiting so long
For the day You return
To heal every hurt
And right every wrong
We need You right now
Come and turn this around
Deep down I know
This world isn’t home
Come Jesus come”
In the weeks following, Anna needed to have radiation to her brain, and I would drive her to and from the treatments. Those were such special moments for me, having time alone with her … treasuring up the memories for when I needed them. I would wait in the waiting room as she went in for the treatments.
One day, she came out with a beautiful smile on her face, as soon as she saw me. As we walked back to the car she told me the story of what had happened. The nurse would ask what type of music Anna would like to listen to while she was getting the radiation, and Anna always asked for worship music. When the treatment was over, the nurse came to Anna and said to her, “Wasn’t that just the perfect song for you?” The song had played over Anna during the treatment …
“Sometimes I fall to my knees and pray
Come Jesus come
Let today be the day
Sometimes I feel like I’m gonna break
But I’m holding on
To a hope that won’t fade
Come Jesus come
We’ve been waiting so long
For the day You return
To heal every hurt
And right every wrong
We need You right now
Come and turn this around
Deep down I know
This world isn’t home
Come Jesus come”
One year ago today, we were all arriving at the hospital, to say our “Good byes” to Anna… knowing that her time had come to go Home. As we crept quietly into the room, we noticed that the nursing staff had put a speaker next to Anna’s head on the pillow, so she could listen to worship music. As we got closer, a hush fell over the room, as we heard softly from the speaker,
“Sometimes I fall to my knees and pray
Come Jesus come
Let today be the day
Sometimes I feel like I’m gonna break
But I’m holding on
To a hope that won’t fade
Come Jesus come
We’ve been waiting so long
For the day You return
To heal every hurt
And right every wrong
We need You right now
Come and turn this around
Deep down I know
This world isn’t home
Come Jesus come”
Pray with me…
“Yes, come, Jesus, come. You know what I’m going through and understand me better than I do. Thank You for Your promise that You’re coming back for me. Until then… I’ll wait…. knowing that You have never broken a promise. In Your Sweet Name…. Amen.”